Working at a daycare is simultaneously super fun and super humbling. My severe lack of patience and my strong tendency to be quick to anger has led me to apologize to every single kid in my class...on more than one occasion.
I've found that the balance between tenderness and motherly affection and stern discipline out of love is found in Jesus alone.
I've babysat/nannied since I was twelve, so I was fairly confident that I was able to not react completely from my flesh in regards to disrespectful and bratty kids. But I have, and I do. And unfortunately, will probably do it again today.
I've never gotten "no" as a response this many times in one day. I've also never been told "I don't apologize" or "I never have to share."
I've also never been told I look twelve or forty-eight years old in one day. But that's another story.
However, I've never heard "I love you Miss Kayla" or "You're pretty" more than I hear it from my students.
The Lord has convicted me and blessed me through this job in such a unique way. I've had to depend on His patience, His grace, and His strength minutely.
I thought I'd share some of what goes on in this chaotic classroom:
I get lots of sudden illnesses for which I need immediate medical attention.
Crafts abound. All day every day.
I get my nails done and my order taken all at one stop. Shmancy and convenient.
"The Lord is all and in all. If today I am patient, it is not I but He who lives in me who is patient. If today I love, it is not because I try my best to love, for the power of love is not in me; but it is because there is One who loves in me. If today I am humble, it is not because I remind myself how proud I am and, therefore need to be humble. He is my humility, therefore I am humble."
Coming back from a fantastic, refreshing, worshipful weekend...I can't believe it's already Friday!
Hopefully these next few weeks will fly by...Bradley and two of my best friends, Bailey and Leah, along with other college students and leaders from our church are headed to Serbia, Kenya, and Taiwan to proclaim the victory and grace of Jesus Christ.
I am thrilled for them and pleading with the Father that He would be glorified in, through, and before them.
Today I'm linking up with Lauren for High Five for Friday!
ONE.
Last Friday I went in to work at 7 am (this is not normal, PTL) and didn't have time to spend time with the Lord before I got there. This was my view when I walked in:
And no child arrived for THIRTY MINUTES. I got to dwell in scripture and pray over the kids in the classroom. It was such a sweet time.
TWO.
Saturday morning Bradley and I went to a coffee shop...for 3 hours :)
We're both talkers.
The coffee was black and the conversation was rich.
My favorite coffee date.
THREE.
Spending time with this little man Sunday morning before church while his awesome parents were doing ministry.
Happiest morning person I know.
And Bradley picked me up an hour later when G's dad came home.
We had an accidental few minutes in their home alone with G.
Reading with a clean diaper :)
FOUR.
My family and I headed downtown on Wednesday to celebrate the 4th by watching a fireworks show over the battleship and Cape Fear River.
FIVE.
Magran brought Fudgscicles into our home on Wednesday.
Humanity's depravity has been so abundantly clear to me as of late.
And it's baffling...the evil that is here. Questions are raised; hope is shattered; trust begins to falter.
This world has nothing for me, including myself. I cannot trust my own thoughts, desires, plans, and dreams. I must trust the One who will not be crushed under the weight of worship. The One who died for my doubt and unbelief.
This verse has taken on a whole new meaning.
"Whom have I in Heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:25-26).
He does not make me strong, rather, He is my strength.
Therefore I must be weak.
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with my weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:8-10).
Break our hearts in worship.
"Farther Along"
(Chorus)
Farther along we'll know all about it
Father along we'll understand it
Cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We'll understand this, all by and by
Tempted and tried, I wondered why
The good man dies, the bad man thrives
And Jesus cries because He love 'em both
We're all cast-aways in need of rope
Hanging on by the last threads of our hope
In a house of mirrors full of smoke
Confusing illusions I've seen
Where did I go wrong, I sang along
To every chorus of the song
That the devil wrote like a piper at the gate
Leading mice and men down to their fate
But some will courageously escape
The seductive voice with a heart of faith
While walking that line back home
There so much more to life than we've been told
It's full of beauty that will unfold
And shine like you struck gold my wayward son
That deadweight burden weighs a ton
Go down into the river and let it run
Wash away all the things you've done
Forgiveness all right
(Chorus)
But still I get hard-pressed on every side
Between the Rock and a compromise
Like the Truth and a pack of lies fighting for my soul
Saturday my brother Trey and I had a marathon date.
Hibatchi heaven for lunch.
Do we like white sauce, or do we like white sauce?
Followed by Sweet Frog (frozen yogurt).
No pictures. We ate it too fast.
A long walk on the beach.
A walk around the loop at Wrightsville.
And then we were planning on going to a church service that night, but once we got there we realized they don't have church on Saturday nights, just Sunday. Oops.
JD online pulled through.
TWO.
Before watching one of JD's sermons, I made this deliciousness:
Blueberry Broccoli Summer Salad
...Trey chose to eat this massive conglomeration of carbohydrates instead:
THREE.
I started an internship with the director of the counseling ministry at a local church in Wilmington on Tuesday!
The woman who I'm working under is such a gift. Her love for solid theology matched with her gracious attitude is edifying and super convicting.
She gave me this book to read weep over.
FOUR.
Celebrating Magran's 75th birthday last night at Nana's house! Can you tell by all the grandma pet names that we're southern?
Our family is MUCH better because of this woman.
FIVE.
I'm working at the daycare today from 7 am till 5 pm...
and then driving to Durham to see my best friends and hang out with all the City Proj kids and some incredibly wise couples!
I. Am. So. Excited.
God has been so good to me through my community at the Summit.
It really is crazy that the Lord would grant any of us wisdom.
He has granted us conviction of sin, awareness of our own depravity, desperation for a savior, and knowledge of His Son and the relationship He desires with us.
Granting wisdom to His children is a little superfluous, don't cha think?
Well, I'm grateful that He does. It allows me to be edified and refined through His work in other people.
"Legalists trudge with their Bibles on the path toward justification. Saints sit down in the shade of the Cross and plead for the blood-bought pleasures."
"...the chief responsibility of our lives is to love God and others as we love ourselves. But we don't. If we're honest, it's not even close. We don't love anyone with the vigor and thoroughness that we love ourselves."
"There is something about coming to the end of ourselves and our own strength and wisdom -- that's when our hearts finally crack open, and the love of God pours in."
Saturday evening, after Trey and I had a super fun and humbling date, we went home.
(After trying to go to a church service that night, and then realizing that particular church has Sunday night services, not Saturday. Summit member mistake.)
I made a salad while Trey made the biggest fish taco I've ever seen.
