"The Lord is all and in all. If today I am patient, it is not I but He who lives in me who is patient. If today I love, it is not because I try my best to love, for the power of love is not in me; but it is because there is One who loves in me. If today I am humble, it is not because I remind myself how proud I am and, therefore need to be humble. He is my humility, therefore I am humble."
Humanity's depravity has been so abundantly clear to me as of late.
And it's baffling...the evil that is here. Questions are raised; hope is shattered; trust begins to falter.
This world has nothing for me, including myself. I cannot trust my own thoughts, desires, plans, and dreams. I must trust the One who will not be crushed under the weight of worship. The One who died for my doubt and unbelief.
This verse has taken on a whole new meaning.
"Whom have I in Heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:25-26).
He does not make me strong, rather, He is my strength.
Therefore I must be weak.
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with my weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:8-10).
Break our hearts in worship.
"Farther Along"
(Chorus)
Farther along we'll know all about it
Father along we'll understand it
Cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We'll understand this, all by and by
Tempted and tried, I wondered why
The good man dies, the bad man thrives
And Jesus cries because He love 'em both
We're all cast-aways in need of rope
Hanging on by the last threads of our hope
In a house of mirrors full of smoke
Confusing illusions I've seen
Where did I go wrong, I sang along
To every chorus of the song
That the devil wrote like a piper at the gate
Leading mice and men down to their fate
But some will courageously escape
The seductive voice with a heart of faith
While walking that line back home
There so much more to life than we've been told
It's full of beauty that will unfold
And shine like you struck gold my wayward son
That deadweight burden weighs a ton
Go down into the river and let it run
Wash away all the things you've done
Forgiveness all right
(Chorus)
But still I get hard-pressed on every side
Between the Rock and a compromise
Like the Truth and a pack of lies fighting for my soul
My discipler got to go, so for a lot more and accurate notes and more reflective wisdom, check out her upcoming posts :)
The conference's main sessions were streamed LIVE--words cannot express how happy I was/am about this. The way I worship, fear, and view God has been shifted. This brings Him more glory, and for that, I am so so grateful.
I only got to watch about four (I say about because I was only half-listening to one) talks, but my favorite one that I got to hear was Paige Benton Brown's, In the Temple: The Glorious and Forgiving God.
She taught from 1 Kings 8:1-30, 52-63. And she spoke for over an hour. And none of it was boring. Impressive.
A few great points/quotes:
- All other religions present a relationship between god and his people that is causative--If you do ____, god will give you ____.
- Christianity presents a relationship between God and His people that is contradictory -- He says that we have done nothing to merit His love, favor, mercy, etc...yet He freely gives it as a gift despite our failure.
- She referenced verses 27-28: "But will God indeed dwell on the earth? Behold, heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain You; how much less this house I have built? Yet have regard to the prayer of your servant and to his plea, O Lord my God, listening to the cry and to the prayer that your servant prays before You this day."
- That "Yet" is huge -- it indicates that Solomon knows he does not deserve answered prayer, or anything good, from God, yet he asks for it, knowing that God keeps His promises: "'Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who with His hand has fulfilled what He has promised with His mouth to David...'" (v. 15).
- God keeps His promises; therefore we can trust Him.
- The purpose of God's will is relationship, not forgiveness. Forgiveness is required for relationship.
- He gives up His rightful throne to take on my rightful Cross.
- As the temples was the dwelling place of God, now because of Jesus, WE are the temples in which God dwells.
- Does my hatred, jealousy, doubt square with the fact that I house the glory of God?
- Work, reason, wrestle FROM the "templeness" that Jesus has given to us, not TO it--you can't.
- He tells us to "...be filled with the Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18) -- therefore, if we are filled, "there ain't no room for anything else."
- Being a temples of the living God changes the amount of time I spend investing in the way that I look, how I spend money, etc.
- There is no room for the attitude that "the way I spend my money, time, and efforts is up to me, because He fills ALL of it.
I have never before considered, to this degree, that I am a temple of God. Not as some princess-like jewel that God doesn't want anyone to scratch, but I literally house the presence of God. Therefore, fickle discipline and doubt of God's sovereignty is laughable; my prideful desire for control and fear at the thought of relinquishing control seems not just erroneous, but ugly.
I am always more wretched that I think I am; He is always more good, more holy, and more glorious than I think He is.
3. Saturday morning, my sweet mom took A and me to get a mani + pedi.
Then the three of us met my dad for lunch at a favorite spot.
Coincidental outfit matching. We are so much alike it's scary.
And I grabbed some Lindt chocolate for us three :)
I didn't waste any time eating mine.
4. My Grandaddy's birthday was last weekend, so my parents, T, A + I celebrated with him a few days late at a delicious restaurant called Sweet 'N Savory.
"...I saw in my prayerlessness an intentionally isolated child trying to make meaning of life without engaging their Father for help. Why would I do that?"
"Jesus reserved the harshest words for the religious elite, those who declared that they were holy, that they understood the nature of God, that they had achieved some kind of enlightenment."
I am not a mom yet. But I am terribly excited and nervous about stepping into that role. As I prepare for marriage, and since life belongs to God, simultaneous preparation for motherhood is essential.
I babysat for a wonderful couple a few nights ago after (and before) talking with the wisest woman I know.
Their little man is active, cuddly, selfish, wild, and inquisitive--and is the by far the best I've seen at going to bed when I put him down. A+, Turner's.
See what I mean by inquisitive? "What is that? What is that?"
And I love that he definitively tells me it's not a bird he hears.
Though I am not his mother and do not get to spend time with him day in and day out, I do see glimpses of his innate sin and his God-given gifts.
(i.e. His cuddling abilities are superb. When he's in my lap and I'm reading to him, he reaches one or both of his chubby arms up and rubs a few strands of my hair between his tiny fingers. Darn close to Heaven.)
He really is such a good toddler, but I am legitimately tired after he falls asleep, after only being with him for a few hours. My fatigue coupled with Dave and Lauren's thankfulness for some time alone together makes me realize how vital it will be to rely on my church to spend time with my kids so my husband and I can spend time as a couple.
Being a first-born, Type-A, "perfectionist", I am prone to self-sufficiency. The notion of impossible independence and self-reliance are sins with which I wrestle. I know the Gospel, and know that self-righteousness is antithetical to that message, but yet I still fear failing.
(So perhaps giving grace to those who have knowledge but not yet behavior modification would be Christ-like?)
I do not want my children to see me being perfect. I want them to see me as I am; as Jesus died for me--needy, dependent, and broken.
I want my children to see the incredible blessing and vitality of being a part of a church body. I want them to see that I am not fully capable of handling them every day. I want them to witness young people who are following Jesus and seeking older, wise council. I want them to see that marriage requires consistent, intentional commitment and work.
I am grateful that I have been graciously given up-close examples of families who rely on Jesus. I am grateful that babysitting makes me presuppose on my sinfulness as a mother and wife, and my continual need for the promise of Jesus.
Jen Wilkin, mother, writer and member of The Village Church
"This world is not our home. We are sojourners, travelers on our way to the only true comfort the human heart can know. I will not help you populate your life with things that lessen your grip on this reality...because I love your Heavenly Father above all else. And I will give an account to Him for whether I have raised citizens of Earth or citizens of Heaven."
Dr. Russell Moore, Dean of the School of Theology and Senior Vice-President for Academic Administration at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary
"The argument behind a boycott assumes that the "rightness" of a marriage definition is constituted by a majority with power. Isn't that precisely what we're arguing against?"
"But this is a Friday with new mercies and why not pancakes? They come out of their rooms confused, but thankful. That must be the joy -- thankful confusion."
"We need to wash one another, to carefully probe, cleanse, disinfect, and heal each other, and this isn't something we can see clearly enough to do on our own. We need the eyes and hands of others."
What are some great articles you've read recently?
Charles Spurgeon was a 19th century British Baptist pastor whose fervor for the Risen Jesus is something by which believers are still inspired and challenged.
The following is an excerpt from a sermon he delivered on August 1, 1875. The sermon was entitled "The Choice of a Leader."
"We must be all conscious that we imitate those whom we admire. Love has a strange influence over our nature, to mould it into the form beloved. A true disciple is like clay on the wheel, and his Master fashions him after his own image. We may be scarcely conscious of it, but we are most surely being conformed to the likeness of those to whose influence we submit ourselves.
"Whoever then your Master may be, dear friend, you are changing into his image: if you choose to be led by the votary of pleasure, you will become more and more frivolous; if you admire the slave of avarice, you will become avaricious, if you feel the sway of the minion of vice, you will grow vicious yourself. If a man who despises the word of God becomes your hero, you will ere long despise it too: while men are gazing upon him with admiration, a kind of photography is going on, and you, like a sensitive plate, receive his image. I charge you, therefore, to be careful who becomes your guide."
I need to preach this to myself daily. Every influence I submit myself to should be intentional, so as to refine my character and labor for Christ's fame. Though I deem the influence to which I submit myself is mostly aware of sin and worshipful of Jesus, I need to constantly check myself. Am I actually worshipping Jesus? Or am I worshipping someone(s) who love Him?
I am extremely apt to people please and therefore need to ensure that I am aiming to please and give glory to the Giver of Life, not another person.
Jesus is my treasure, my hope, and my rock. He died for me; He took my place--no one else did that. Submitting to church authority and seeking wise council is a part of submitting to God, but I need to remind myself that Jesus pursued me before anyone else did. I need to study Him before I can study another's thoughts.
He is the perfect example of fulfilling the law; no other person has done or will ever do this.
My life is hid with Him; I will give an account to Him and Him alone.
I went to the library earlier this afternoon to write a
paper, and instead ended up praying and dwelling on Scripture (common occurrence)—but so is reading other blogs, blogging, pinteresting, excessively writing in my planner, and
making lists. Type A, I know.
I was sitting at a table by myself in a small common
area. There was minimal chatter
and lots of goose bumps. Our library is freezing.
A group of students convened to work on a group project at a
larger table to my forefront; one student was blind and had a guide dog
accompanying him.
Once about half an hour passed, I finally collected myself
after shedding several tears over God’s heart for a group of people I love—I’m accustomed to crying in public; I do it
so often it’s hardly embarrassing anymore.
The group disassembled and the student who was blind stood
up and began to leave the table.
The walkway was short before he had to turn right to descend the stairs
and exit the library. However, as
he made his way down the walkway, his guide dog didn’t make him turn right, and
the student walked directly into another student who was working at another
table. The collision was audible
and my heart broke for the blind student’s embarrassment.
The student quickly found his way around the corner, down
the stairs, and practically ran out of the double doors—only heightening the
number of eyes on him.
Since I had been crying only a couple of minutes beforehand,
I proceeded to march myself to the bathroom, as I was a basket case. I wanted to glare at every person that
was staring at the student, as if that would alleviate his humiliation and make
me feel better. I’m glad that I
didn’t. I’m half as bold as I think
myself to be—even if it’s about chastisement.
Here comes the
analogy…
Does my heart break for spiritually blind people? Do I weep at the sight of a person who
does not know and love Jesus Christ as Lord? Am I filled with sorrow when I see a nonbeliever “collide”
with their sin and disappointments and their lack of a God to seek for security
and atonement?
The funny thing is, I was dwelling on Psalm 126 when I was
praying a few moments before the incident (and had even shared it with a friend
this morning!).
“When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who
dream. Then our mouth was filled
with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the
nations, ‘The Lord has done great things for them.’ The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad. Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like
streams in the Negeb! Those who
sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall
come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him” (v. 1-6, ESV).
Jesus has graciously granted me undeserved salvation, so I
am joyful and glad and tell others that “The
Lord has done great things” for me.
But I also go “out weeping”
because others do not know Jesus, and I bear “the seed for sowing.”
Because I know of God’s goodness to me displayed on the Cross, where He
stood in my place and paid my punishment for my sin, there is a internal,
produced desire to share the Gospel with people who do not know/believe it.
I don’t just want people to know about Jesus—I want them to
experience the joy of being freely forgiven.
The Psalm concludes with the coolest assurance—those who
desire and labor for the salvation of nonbelievers “shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.” If my heart is joyful at Jesus’
sacrifice on my behalf and breaking for people who do not believe the Truth of
His message, He is faithful to use me in the salvation of others.
How often have girls said or heard this phrase? What does this reveal about the heart of the person who stated it?
I think it’s a cover-up; a wall. Girls use it all the time to create spiritual and/or emotional distance.
Essentially, we don’t want people to know us. We know us, and we know it’s not pretty. It’s much easier and more enjoyable for people to think we aren’t struggling; we don’t doubt; we don’t really sin.
Before I continue, I am not just talking about girls not wanting to scream, “I LOVE YOU!” to their first boyfriend a week after dating–that’s called common sense. I’m talking about girls, specifically, who only want to vacuum and never lint roll.
They run at the sound of any question about their relationship with their boyfriend–especially any question about the physicality of their relationship. What is behind this defense-mechanism is shame.
Of course they know that they are in sin, so they’re ashamed–but they don’t see Jesus as the ultimate rescuer, and so they refuse to let anyone in who might help them come to the throne empty-handed yet totally righteous.
And how do I know about all these defense-mechanisms? Because I used them too. Although I’ve never used the exact term “trust issues”, I have absolutely been guilty of making excuses for withholding truth about my relationships, my struggles, my doubts, and my heart–and it was stifling to my walk with Jesus and to my sanctification. In fact, becuase I was consistently unopened, it made crawling out of my habitual sin much more difficult.
By the grace of God alone, that period of time in my life did not last long–but it was certainly painful (so much so, that it nearly brings me to tears every time I think about how much I distanced myself from Jesus…not that tearing up is an uncommon thing for me). And I am so thankful that my sin was brought to light, addressed, and redeemed.
“…do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by Him. For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom He receives.’ It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?”
{Hebrews 12:5-7}
I know several girls who deal with “trust issues” in conjunction with seeing their fathers as lacking. Absence, rejection, and sin of fathers often correlates with girls who cling to their boyfriends (and hurry to find another one after a break-up), and ferociously push away any accountability or honesty from other women/girls.
As we all know, correlation does not equal causality. And as Jesus tells us, sin done to us does not equal the right to sin–just look at the Cross for that one. Was/Is Jesus sinned against? Constantly by every person who ever lived, is living, and will live. Did he sin? Not at all. Did he even go so far as to pay the price for all that wickedness? It was His joy.
“Jesus…who for the joy that was set before Him endured the Cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
{Hebrews 12:2}
So let me be clear: No girl has an excuse to desire a boyfriend/husband more than Jesus; no girl has the right to blame their father for their “trust issues”.
However…
Thank you, Daddy, for staying in our home, for never rejecting me, for being absolutely sinful and humbly repentant (and forgiving). You always used to tell me that you loved me but loved Mommie the most. My pride was always a little crushed and I honestly was confused by it–but now (I think) I understand.
You show me how my husband is supposed to think about me. You show me how my husband is supposed to love his children. You show me how my husband is supposed to labor arduously for our family (parents, in-laws, nieces, nephews, siblings, wife, and children). You show me how to seek Jesus after death has, very literally, stared you in the face.
I am grateful to witness your sin, experience your love and sacrifice, and be a product of your marriage. Thank you for not giving me a reason to withhold my heart from honest accountability. Thank you for not giving me “trust issues” with which to struggle.
You give me reasons to look to Jesus for complete satisfaction, and I wouldn’t trade you for the world. I am so glad God gave me to you.
My pastor often refers to Dr. Keller as “Yoda”. I wouldn’t disagree.
Tim’s points:
- All religions cannot be equally right–Christianity is either false and irrelvant or true.
- All religions cannot be equally wrong–there is a single truth. Stating that no religion has all the “parts” of “truth” is a claim of truth in and of itself.
“A fact isn’t narrow…it’s a fact that you’re going to wither and die if you don’t eat. It’s not narrow, it’s just a fact. And if Jesus Christ is the Son of God, your soul will shrivel without Him, and you’ll die. And that’s not narrow, it’s just a fact.”
“What you really need in this world is people who’ve got an exclusive truth that humbles them.”
It is easy to just let people vacuum over my life. Yes I am involved in my local church, yes I am making good grades, yes I have awesome friends and a wonderful godly man in my life…blah blah blah.
But in reality, I fail constantly at being an effective and equipping small group leader; I am not making straight A’s this semester; my friendships are encouraging and edifying, but we often do a terrible job at loving each other; my relationship with Bradley is certainly blissful and sanctifying, but it is also a cycle of loving, failing to love, repenting, apologizing, and looking to Jesus for complete satisfaction.
In reality, I am chock-full of shortcomings and sin. I can be “sweet” or even sacrificial, but in the depths of my sinful heart, I am prideful, self-centered, and controlling of myself and other people.
There is always something to be redeemed.
I’m doing “well” because the grace of Jesus covers all my crap—anything I do that’s “good” is because He who is good lives in me, not because I have conjured up goodness by myself.
All this was collected AFTER I vacuumed my floor...
Lint rollers are great inventions. Not only do they get nearly every grimy, nasty hair and piece of whatevers off my dorm room floor, they also show me exactly what has been hiding—as it is contrasted to the white sticky substance.
Discipleship, accountability, coffee—call it what you like. We, as followers of Jesus, need to be sharing our lives and hearts—our WHOLE lives and hearts—with older, godlier people (of the same gender) and believing peers. We are weak and need other people to speak truth into our lives.
I am incredibly grateful for God-fearing girlfriends…
sweet Bradley…
and a wise woman with whom I engage in these conversations.
And we MUST be completely honest. Otherwise we’re just chatting and flaring our personalities.
Real brokenness, conviction, confession, repentance, and healing is FAR sweeter when it is shared and urged by people around me that love me. I need people consistently in my life with whom to share my life—thoughts, actions, passions, and situations—openly and honestly. Those people need to love me enough to not tell me what I want to hear. They need to be obedient in their own walk with Christ, so that they can be honest, discerning, and wise in their assessment of me and my walk with the Lord.
That’s why accountability, or even just raw honesty, is so hard—not only do you realize there’s a lot more sin there than you previously thought, but you also realize your old method wasn’t working like you thought it was. Or you’re already aware that your method isn’t working and you’re simply refusing to walk in complete repentance/struggling obedience—which is a much scarier place to be.
Vacuums are great for giving the illusion that my floor is clean; lint rollers are great for ensuring that my floor is not completely pure.
Bubbly conversations about surface-level struggles diminish the toxicity and presence of sin and suppress the Holy Spirit’s sanctification in my life and others’ lives.
Lint rolling over my life/my heart—raw openness, humility, and awareness of sin—leads me to a deeper love for and obedience to the God of the Gospel. When my eyes are opened to my wickedness, which is always more depraved than I think it is, it is easier to see how insanely gracious Jesus was to come and die for my depravity.
And I remember His resurrection and victorious cry: “It is finished.”
I can share my sin and shortcomings because I know how much I am loved by the all-holy God—because He loves me despite my failure. I want to share my sin because I love Him and want to reflect Him instead of myself.
