Death.

So real. So tangible. 

Every person will touch death.

Then what?

If not the Lord, nothing.

You will have everything but Him.

What death.

But for the believer...what death does is strip you of every temporary earthly thing and you are left with nothing but Jesus.

Yaweh.

Sweet Redeemer.

Wonderful Savior.

Triune God.

I will one day gaze upon the face of the God-Man who bought my life.

Took my place; on my cross.

Now we are one.

Forever.

My bridegroom and me.

Give me eternity.

I long for Jesus today.

Five Favorite Finds.

It's Thursday...you know what that means :)

You get to peer inside my brain/Safari tabs and see what I've been reading this week!

1.  Teach Children the Bible is Not About Them

Sally Lloyd-Jones, author of The Jesus Storybook Bible

via Desiring God

"When we drill a Bible story down into a moral lesson, we make it all about us.  But the Bible isn't mainly about us, and what we are supposed to be doing -- it's about God, and what He has done!"

2.  Missions and the Great Commission

Bradley Johnson (yes, this is my boyfriend)

"He alone knows how to best steward His glory.  

He will use you in the Great Commission exactly how He wants."

3.  Escape into Grey

Lori Byerly

"The problem is that reading erotic novels is like eating Twinkies to stop your hunger.  It's sweet.  It gives you a sugar high.  It makes good food taste bland.  It doesn't give your body the nutrition it needs and all you do is crave more sugar, more Twinkies."

4.  How the Gospel Changes Our Apologetics, Part 1

Tim Keller (aka Yoda)

"We need to be careful of saying, 'Just believe', because what we're really saying is, 'Believe because I say so."

5.  3 Reasons Why We Won't 'Be Still'

Josh Reich, via The Resurgence

"We don't stop because deep down, we want to be God."

What's the best article that you've read as of late?

Take Note: Watchman Nee

Watchman Nee:

"The Lord is all and in all.  If today I am patient, it is not I but He who lives in me who is patient.  If today I love, it is not because I try my best to love, for the power of love is not in me; but it is because there is One who loves in me.  If today I am humble, it is not because I remind myself how proud I am and, therefore need to be humble.  He is my humility, therefore I am humble."

Romans 8: 1-11

Such Truth.

Five Favorite Finds.

It really is crazy that the Lord would grant any of us wisdom.

He has granted us conviction of sin, awareness of our own depravity, desperation for a savior, and knowledge of His Son and the relationship He desires with us.

Granting wisdom to His children is a little superfluous, don't cha think?

Well, I'm grateful that He does. It allows me to be edified and refined through His work in other people. 

Even people I've never met:

1.  Preach the Gospel, and Since It's Necessary, Use Words
Ed Stetzer

"...since the gospel is the saving work of Jesus, it isn't something we can do, but it is something we must announce."

2.  Read Your Bible More and More
John Piper, via Desiring God

"Legalists trudge with their Bibles on the path toward justification.  Saints sit down in the shade of the Cross and plead for the blood-bought pleasures."

3.  Love Notices Wet Hair
Tim Henderson, via The Gospel Coalition

"...the chief responsibility of our lives is to love God and others as we love ourselves.  But we don't.  If we're honest, it's not even close.  We don't love anyone with the vigor and thoroughness that we love ourselves."

4.  Trusting God Is Not Easy
Ray Ortlund, via The Gospel Coalition

"There is something about coming to the end of ourselves and our own strength and wisdom -- that's when our hearts finally crack open, and the love of God pours in."

5.  Obeying God Comes After Grace, Says Tim Keller
Lillion Kwon

"Christians who obey God and then expect grace and blessings have got it all wrong."

When was the last time an article made you repent?

Take Note: Paige Benton Brown

This past weekend The Gospel Coalition held a conference for women in Orlando!

Source.

My discipler got to go, so for a lot more and accurate notes and more reflective wisdom, check out her upcoming posts :)

The conference's main sessions were streamed LIVE--words cannot express how happy I was/am about this.  The way I worship, fear, and view God has been shifted.  This brings Him more glory, and for that, I am so so grateful.

I only got to watch about four (I say about because I was only half-listening to one) talks, but my favorite one that I got to hear was Paige Benton Brown's, In the Temple: The Glorious and Forgiving God.

Source.

She taught from 1 Kings 8:1-30, 52-63.  And she spoke for over an hour.  And none of it was boring.  Impressive.

A few great points/quotes:

- All other religions present a relationship between god and his people that is causative--If you do ____, god will give you ____. 

- Christianity presents a relationship between God and His people that is contradictory -- He says that we have done nothing to merit His love, favor, mercy, etc...yet He freely gives it as a gift despite our failure. 

- She referenced verses 27-28: "But will God indeed dwell on the earth? Behold, heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain You; how much less this house I have built? Yet have regard to the prayer of your servant and to his plea, O Lord my God, listening to the cry and to the prayer that your servant prays before You this day." 

- That "Yet" is huge -- it indicates that Solomon knows he does not deserve answered prayer, or anything good, from God, yet he asks for it, knowing that God keeps His promises: "'Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who with His hand has fulfilled what He has promised with His mouth to David...'" (v. 15). 

- God keeps His promises; therefore we can trust Him. 

- The purpose of God's will is relationship, not forgiveness.  Forgiveness is required for relationship. 

- He gives up His rightful throne to take on my rightful Cross. 

- As the temples was the dwelling place of God, now because of Jesus, WE are the temples in which God dwells. 

- Does my hatred, jealousy, doubt square with the fact that I house the glory of God? 

- Work, reason, wrestle FROM the "templeness" that Jesus has given to us, not TO it--you can't.

- He tells us to "...be filled with the Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18) -- therefore, if we are filled, "there ain't no room for anything else." 

- Being a temples of the living God changes the amount of time I spend investing in the way that I look, how I spend money, etc. 

- There is no room for the attitude that "the way I spend my money, time, and efforts is up to me, because He fills ALL of it.  

I have never before considered, to this degree, that I am a temple of God.  Not as some princess-like jewel that God doesn't want anyone to scratch, but I literally house the presence of God.  Therefore, fickle discipline and doubt of God's sovereignty is laughable; my prideful desire for control and fear at the thought of relinquishing control seems not just erroneous, but ugly.

I am always more wretched that I think I am; He is always more good, more holy, and more glorious than I think He is.

Five Friday Finds.

Seeking wisdom is the largest part of me recognizing the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

Daily scripture reading, sharing and listening to peers and particularly older, wiser women and men, listening to sermons/talks, and yes, even leisurely reading articles is part of me seeking wisdom.

Have the words of the Bible and other people draw me to the throne of justification and grace is beautiful, and makes me worship Him more.

This week, by the grace of God, has been no different.

1.  Children and Salvation
JD Greear, my pastor (Summit Church)

"As my kids grow older, they will certainly have moments of insight in which they understand better His grace, and defining moments in which they "own" that posture.  But it is a posture I can encourage them toward from the beginning."

2.  Are You Young, Restless, and Reformed?
Hugh Whelchel, via The Gospel Coalition

"...young men and women are still striving for more substantive and experiential Christianity."

3.  How Jesus Saved My Dad and Family
Tony Evans

"...she could not understand how the more she rejected him, was unkind to him and tried to prove that believing in God was wrong, he kinder he was to her and the more he invested in God's Word."

4.  Rebuilding a Healthy Schedule
Joe Thorn, via The Resurgence

"It wasn't just that I was working too hard, but that I had also started listening to the devil's lies."

5.  Why My Husband of Three Years and I Go To Marriage Counseling
Sharon Hodde Miller, via Hermenutics

"In a culture of instant gratification and entitlement, many couples feel duped and unprepared when they realize they must word hard to make marriage succeed."

What are some articles you've recently enjoyed?

Five Favorite Finds.

Can I just say how much I love not having schoolwork having extra time to read, dwell, and meditate on scripture and life-giving, worshipful pieces of writing?

Well, I love it.

Enjoy these fantastic articles I found this week:

1.  Snuggling Is Holy Work, Too
via The Resurgence
Alex Early

"It is heart-wrenching news for a child to learn that Jesus takes Daddy away from the family to go do 'holier' things than play in the floor, telling bedtime stories, learning about their interests and snuggling."

2. Quantity Time, Quality Time, & a Clingy Son
Ben Reed, Small Groups Paster, Grace Community Church

"...you can tell what you value by what fills up your calendar."

2.  When Grace Goes Violent

via Desiring God

David Mathis, quoting Matt Chandler's book Explicit Gospel

"...he wants sin starved to death, and he will hunt and pursue the death of every sin in his heart until he has achieved success."

4.  J. Gresham Machen: "Liberalism Has Abandoned Christianity"

via The Resurgence

Justin Holcomb

"Machen writes, 'In trying to remove from Christianity everything that could possibly be objected to in the name of science...the apologist has really abandoned what he started out to defend.'"

5.  Is a Wife's Submission Culturally Outdated?

via Desiring God

Tony Reinke

"Husbands typify Christ by sacrificially loving their wives, and wives typify the church by following their husbands...the balance between leadership and trust...points to the unending submission that the church will experience under Christ's headship (Ephesians 5:24-25)."

What are some great articles you've read recently?

Five Favorite Finds.

Summertime is great for a bajillion reasons.

Being able to read and re-read (instead of skim) fantastic, worshipful pieces of writing is one of them.

Here is some of what I've been intrigued and edified by this week:

1.  Good News vs. Good Advice

via The Resurgence blog

Tim Keller

"...when you hear a message that it's all been done for you, that it's a historical event that's happened, your salvation is accomplished for you, what do you want to do?  You want to obey the Ten Commandments, you want to pray, and you want to please the One who did this for you."

2.  Exchanging Fear for Fear

Kevin DeYoung

"...there is no sin so prevalent, so insidious, and so deep as the sin of fearing people more than we fear God."

3.  5 Reasons I love Church-Based Counseling

Pat Quinn

"People expect to be listened to compassionately and cared for wisely and they know that this means that we will use the Bible to point and lead them to Christ."

4.  Why a "You Complete Me" Romance is Incomplete

Mike Glenn

"But what happens if we approach a relationship not from a sense of need but from a sense of our "yes"?

5.  Where Are All the Revivals in Islamic Countries?

via The Gospel Coalition

John Starke

An interview with my pastor, JD Greear.

"'Where are all the revival stories in Islamic countries?' They remain to be written by God."

What are some great articles you've read recently?

Take Note: Relationships

Relationships are huge to me.  For one, relationships, by and large, are enjoyable to me.  People are interesting; conversation is interesting, and holds my attention.  

With that in mind, engaging in relationships is necessary as a human, and commanded by God for believers.

Relationships: A Mess Worth Making is a book that my mentor gave me months some time ago that I have yet to return. 

I was reading it yesterday, and stumbled across this:

This quote was extremely relevant to a sermon that I had watched a few hours prior that the small groups pastor at my church, Spence Shelton, gave last week.  His message was on the community of believers and how integral it is to our walks with Christ.  

Hebrews 3:12-14 says:

"Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God.  But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called today, that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.  For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end."

Spence explained that we must share our thoughts, sin, disappointments, marriages, and relationships with other believers--to prevent any one from "[falling] away from the living God."  We also must "exhort one another every day", to remind each other that Christ is better.  He is better than financial; marital; relational; personal success.  We are sons and daughters that have the privilege of laboring for our King who rescued us.  

We must confess to, share with, and exhort one another.

Relationships are for the purposes of sanctification and witness to the Gospel.

They are not supposed to make us uncomfortable--that is where our sin destroys God's perfect design.

Spence stated that when you are finally known for who you really are and you experience love and not condemnation, you experience the Gospel...and it changes you.

Five Favorite Finds.

This is my updated version of "Friday Finds" (don't worry, I still have something in store for Friday, don't fret :)

...also, I realize it is quite a feat to have five "favorites", since the word "favorite" insinuates one. 

Just go with it.

Here are my top five favorite articles that I found this week!

1) Jesus Also Had Unbelieving Family Members
via Desiring God
Jon Bloom

"Don't give up praying for unbelieving family members.  Don't take their resistance as the final word.  They may yet believe..."

2)  What Does it Mean to be Biblically Balanced?
Tullian Tchividjian, pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church

"...to be 'Biblically balanced' is NOT to allot equal airtime to every Biblical theme."

3)  Desperate, Breathless, Dependent Parenting

via Desiring God
Rachel Pieh Jones

"No, brave is not the right word for parents. Dependent is."

4)  Today Was Supposed to be My Wedding Day
via The Gospel Coalition
M. Conner

"He promises much more, and I wasn't going to find it in a marriage with an unbeliever."

5)  Rob Bell and the Judgmentless "Gospel": Holy Love Wins
via The Gospel Coalition 
Trevin Wax
(I apologize for the extremely old post--but the ideas that he dismisses are unfortunately still present in the church.)

"...the judgmentless gospel is not gospel at all.  It leaves us with a diminished God and no need for grace."

Friday Finds.

Happy Friday!

Later this afternoon, Trey and I are driving to Raleigh to volunteer at the Matt Papa/Lecrae concert that the Summit is hosting!  

...aaaand we're driving back tonight.  It's gonna be a late one, folks.

But it's summer...well, not for him. Oops. 

Here's the list of five of my favorite articles I've read this week!

1)  Now That Amendment One Has Passed

by my pastor, JD Greear, of The Summit Church

"We are to lead in being good neighbors to all in our community, especially our gay community."

2)  Why We Got Married

by Larissa Murchy, via Desiring God

"Fortunately, our hope is that we've also wathed all of these alongside Jesus, who is our own man of sorrows, acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3).  So we have not walked it alone."

3)  Why Bible Study Doesn't Transform Us

Jen Wilkin of The Village Church

"If our exposure to it fails to result in transformation, particularly over the course of years, there are surely only two possible reasons why: either our Bible studies lack true converts, or our converts lack true Bible study."

4)  Are You Pinning to the Glory of God?

Trisha Wilkerson, via The Resurgence 

"Before long, we've created an alternate world for our 'best self,' an ideal we'll never live up to."

5)    Where Are All the Women Apologists?
Jonalyn Fincher, via Hermenutics

"'Christian apologetics...will need women skilled in Islamic apologetics to speak with Muslim women, to go where Christian men cannot.'"

What are some insightful articles you've read recently?

The Gospel Summit

Last Thursday and Friday (yes, in the middle of final exams...our church is just way more fun than school), Bradley and I attended The Gospel Summit.

Our church put on a conference for church leaders about how to let the Gospel permeate every ministry, every heart, and the church as a whole.

It was warm outside.

PTL for AC.

I learned a lot about college ministry, being a wife, church planting, church organization, and the weighty role of a pastor.

I came away from the conference edified, blessed, and challenged--about my future and about my present.  

Here are some of my notes from the talks I went to:

THURSDAY

Our pastor opened the conference:
"Marks of a Gospel-Centered Church"

• The mission of the church--> (Acts 1:8) "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the earth."
• We are witnesses.
• When people stand in awe of God's grace to them, this is what happens:
• Evangelistic Effectives AND Doctrinal Depth
• The Presence of God
• Fervent, Faith-filled [believing] Prayer
• Empowered Members
• Extravagant Generosity--"Generosity is the best apologetic for the veracity of the Gospel."

First Breakout Session:
"College Ministry: Turning Atheists into Church Planters"

•  Pursue them on their turf--then they see that Christianity is not something you turn on & turn off.
• Community of believers is one of your most powerful evangelistic tools.
• Once a Christian, bring them along in ministry immediately.
• Disciple them.

Extremely convicting and motivating for me as a college student.  Am I seeking lost people?

Tony Merida, Pastor of Imago Dei Church
"Christ-Centered Preaching"

• Make the hero of the Bible (Jesus) the hero of your message.
• Satan is not concerned with moralism, he just doesn't want us to preach Jesus.
• [Your preaching must be] Wider; deeper; more responsible.
• People may say that hearing about the Cross every week will get old--I say, does hearing your wife say she loves you ever get old?
• Proclaim the facts: Jesus rose; He is alive; the tomb is empty; the throne is occupied.
• Preach Christ until you die, and then worship Him forever.

FRIDAY

Second Breakout Session:
Veronica Greear & Jen Thompson
"For Pastor's Wives: Balancing Family & Ministry"

These cute signs were one every table :)

• When you say 'yes' to something, you are saying 'no' to something else.
• There should be white space in your calendar--you need margin.
• Have wise, godly council to talk about your marriage.
• You will never regret honoring and choosing your husband.
• Until your children are saved, you have pagans living in your home. Your primary ministry is in your home.
• Figure out what your husband wants, and do it well.
• Make ministry fun for your family.

Third Breakout Session:
Tony Merida & Nathan Akin
"The Nuts & Bolts of How to Plant a Gospel-Centered Church"

• Plant with a team
• Invest in the core team
• Set clear expectations for potential members
• Plant the church you've always wanted to go to
• Don't give leadership away too quickly
• Start small groups soon and invest in small group leaders
• Teach your people to be missionaries
• Expect support from unlikely partners
• Lead from the pulpit
• Be sensitive to the unchurched
• Don't be surprised when people leave

JD Greear
"Creating a Sending Culture in Your Church"

•  God builds the church.
• The Great Commission is not a calling for some but a mandate for all.
• The church is not an audience but an army.
• The best pastors are those who build up other leaders.
• Be courageous on God's grace.
• Once a Christian is soaked from the blood of Jesus & the stench of Hell is in his nostrils, you don't need to preach evangelism.
• Rest on God's great compassion for His church. It is bigger than you, it didn't start with you, and it will not end with you.
• Focus more on what Jesus has done for you and less on what you are to do for Him.

Needless to say, I walked away more worshipful of Jesus and more charged to make Him known.

After the conclusion of the conference Bradley and I hung out with a couple we hope to emulate.  What a blessing to spend time with older, wiser council to help us see how we can see Jesus as bigger and thus surrender more and more of us for His mission.

I am anxious to see how God will love, challenge, test, and use us this summer, throughout the duration of our time as college students, and for the rest of our lives.

Jesus, You are on the throne.  All the universe pants for You.  You allow me to join in Your deserved praise.

You are worth it all.  You are better.

Friday Finds.

Happy Friday!

Here's my list of five, fervent, enlightening articles I discovered this week!

Prayer, Ghandi, Ryan Gosling, evangelism, and comparison are all discussed.

Check 'em out: 

1)  Prayer and Talking to my Children
Brad Hambrick, counseling pastor at The Summit Church

"...I saw in my prayerlessness an intentionally isolated child trying to make meaning of life without engaging their Father for help.  Why would I do that?"

2)  Gandhi Doesn't Like Us

Tim Challies, pastor of Grace Fellowship Church

"Jesus reserved the harshest words for the religious elite, those who declared that they were holy, that they understood the nature of God, that they had achieved some kind of enlightenment."

3)  Ryan Gosling, Romance Novels, and the Dangers of Fantasizing

Anna Broadway, writer for Hermenutics

"Though we almost always turn to them when life's brokenness has reasserted itself, such fantasies represent the wrong kind of change."

4)  The Fire of Belief
Douglas Wilson, from The Resurgence blog

"A relativistic age is sure of nothing, except for a dogged commitment to the necessity of that relativism."

5)  Marriage Poison 
Sharon Hodde Miller, from her blog, She Worships

"...when reality is competing with fantasy, fantasy always wins."

What are some great articles you've read recently?

Friday Finds.

Happy Friday!

"All my bags are packed I'm ready to go"

...song reference?

As of about 11:00pm today, I'm I-40 East bound! I have a job interview for a summer position at a daycare in Wilmington!

Here are some urgent, important, worshipful articles I discovered this week...

(confession: or last week)

...check them out!

1)  This is awkward, but...how's your present?

Ben Reed, small groups pastor at Grace Community Church

"Talking about your present struggles is like swallowing a spoonful of medicine.  You know it's going to help, but it tastes rancid going down."

2)  Otherness

Jen Wilkin, mother, writer and member of The Village Church

"This world is not our home.  We are sojourners, travelers on our way to the only true comfort the human heart can know.  I will not help you populate your life with things that lessen your grip on this reality...because I love your Heavenly Father above all else.  And I will give an account to Him for whether I have raised citizens of Earth or citizens of Heaven."

3)    Should Christians Boycott Starbucks?

Dr. Russell Moore, Dean of the School of Theology and Senior Vice-President for Academic Administration at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

"The argument behind a boycott assumes that the "rightness" of a marriage definition is constituted by a majority with power.  Isn't that precisely what we're arguing against?"

4)  When Prayer is a Struggle

Tresta Payne, mother.

"But this is a Friday with new mercies and why not pancakes?  They come out of their rooms confused, but thankful.  
That must be the joy -- thankful confusion."

5)  When Foot Washing Is Not About the Feet

Elyse Fitzpatrick, biblical counselor

"We need to wash one another, to carefully probe, cleanse, disinfect, and heal each other, and this isn't something we can see clearly enough to do on our own.  We need the eyes and hands of others."

What are some great articles you've read recently?

Have I Gotten Over It?

Hank Murphy, a worship pastor at my church, The Summit, opened a night of worship and fellowship for college students a month ago, professing that we are fallen and in need of a Savior, and that Jesus’ sacrificial work is our only hope for a redeeming relationship with the Father.  He then said, “I don’t know about you, but we’ve never really gotten over that.”  

Have I gotten over that?  Have I “moved on” from the sweetness that I deserve death and I am given life?  Have I "matured" enough to move past the fact that in response to this abundant justice and grace that I have received, that I should do everything I can to spread it? 

Praise Jesus that in His obedience to the Father assures us once and for all that the justice of God does not reign over me because it is satisfied in Jesus’ atoning death.  And He proved this by the Resurrection.  We do not live for now—we live in light of eternity. 

The pastor at my church, J.D. Greear, preached on 1 Peter 4:1-11 tonight, and in light of the commands in the passage, encouraged us to live as though we were looking back on our lives in 100 years.  What would you wish you had done to leverage your life, your relationships, your family, and your work, all for the fame of the work of Jesus on and after the Cross?  Would you wish you would have spent your extra money on something eternal?  Would you wish you would have explained the Gospel to that one person that you were too scared to talk to about Jesus?  Would you wish you would have done everything you could to make sure that your family knew the risen King?  Would you wish you would have loved Christ enough to love people enough to profess the Truth?

For what do we live?  For what do I live?  Do people wonder how though I suffer I bless the name of Christ?  Do people wonder why I won’t shut up about Jesus?  Are people attracted to the hope and peace that I have—that surpasses ALL understanding?  Do people see how humble my heart is at the sight of my unworthiness before the Lord, though He loves me?  Do people know that my faith in myself is stripped?  Are people repulsed at the fact that I do not indulge in worldly, fleshly things?  Do I constantly confess my sin to others—believers and unbelievers?  Do I constantly profess that JESUS is my hope and full abundant joy, and NEVER my circumstance?  Do I suffer for the name of Christ my Lord?

More importantly, do people see that I aim to do these things, that they would see my life and turn to and glorify the King of Kings, the great and glorious God, the One who lived the life I could not live and died the death that I deserved—Jesus?

“How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed?  And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have not heard?  And how are they to hear without someone preaching?  And how are they to preach unless they are sent?”

- Romans 10:14-15

May our churches, may our families, may our friendships, may our courtships, may our marriages, may our hearts be obsessed with the fact that we deserve death and are given eternal life because of the Cross.

Our lives show what we believe to be true.  Our decisions about in what to invest our time, our money, and our relationships reveal what we believe to be important.  Do I believe that I am important?  Do I believe that my success, that my reputation, that my comfort, that my happiness is important?  Or do I believe that the only thing that matters in this life is that I reach as many people as possible, in God’s time and by His power, to profess the Truth and imminent love of the risen Lord?  

May we be obsessed with Jesus.  May we never get over the reality of the Gospel. 

Why I Am Thankful for Disagreement.

I believe the Bible is inerrant.  I believe that the Bible is inspired by God and to question it is to question God.  May I never be so arrogant to do either of those things.  I also believe that there is one perfect interpretation of the Bible, so since humans are vastly imperfect, no human possesses a perfect mind to fully understand the Word of God. 

However, God is not confusing.  We may be confused by Him and He may be mysterious to us…but when I don’t understand something it is not because God hasn’t figured it out, it is that I need Him to reveal the full Truth to me.

“I have manifested Your name to the people whom You gave me out of the world.  Yours they were, and You gave them to Me, and they have kept Your Word.  Now they know that everything that You have given Me is from You.  For I have given them the words that You gave Me, and they have received them and have come to know them in Truth, that I came from You, and they believed that You sent me.”

            - John 17:6-8

With that said, there are about a gazillion and one interpretations of the Bible.  It’s the most popular book in the history of the world after all; people have pretty strong opinions on it.  And I am one of those people.

I tend to be quite stubborn and strong-willed—I get that from both ends of my parental spectrum. :)  But I was also blessed with an intense desire for knowledge (about the Lord, not about an engineering course entitled Graphics Communication at NC State University…not to name names).  So I love to read theology, philosophy, blogs, articles, watch videos, and mull over (slash pick apart) sermon transcripts—although I feel like I'm just barely scratching the surface and have MUCH to learn.  I also love to talk (Jesus created me as a woman, PTL.  I would be no good as a man, I think).  This is both fortunate and unfortunate.  Mostly fortunate for me as I am better able to think through ideas verbally, and often unfortunately for people like Bradley (although his gracious nature would never admit that; I am richly blessed) to whom I love to ramble.  Yes, ramble.    

Praise Jesus that we aren’t able to fully understand His Word.  If we were, would we need Him?  If we fully understood how to “do” Christianity, say relationships—courtship, friendship, and familial relationships—perfectly, if there was a formula, our faith in the Lord would be useless. 

So I think in my relationships with people who share my beliefs about on what God the Father, Son, and Spirit are focused, I grow.  And I think in my relationships with people who think differently than me, I am challenged.  Certainly not that growth doesn’t happen in disagreements nor that challenge is absent from people who beliefs are parallel, or that growth and challenge are not often adjacent.  But God created community and I need it.  I need all parts of it. 

What I am about to type is something at which I am so incredibly awful. 

I think it is important to be frustrated less about those with whom you disagree (and those disagreements may be monumental and life-changing and really really BIG and annoying even), and it is more significant to be frustrated when I do not welcome disagreements as a chance to show another person the grace and love that has been lavished on me through Jesus (I apologize for the run-on to which I am adding now). 

The point:

            Concentrate less on the disagreement itself and more on the heart of the disagreeer.  Ask yourself what is the purpose of your discussion?  What eternally relevant thing are you trying to accomplish?  Why did you open your mouth?  All too often I open my mouth and quickly wish I had just kept it closed.  Not that I often say things that are untrue or ungodly or not pertinent to my beliefs about what the Word reveals, but I frequently make statements to impress someone (not at all eternally significant), to make myself feel good (self-glorifying), or to be right (which is laughable because I am so UNRIGHTeous).  None of these motivations are Christ-like.  They are Kayla-like.  And the older I get, the more I realize how UNKayla-like I want to be and how much more I should aim to grow godly love in me. 

“He was oppressed, and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not His mouth.”

            - Isaiah 53:7

I want to be that selfless; that sacrificial; that loving. 


Praise the Lord that this world is fallen.  It so contrasts with Him. 

Nice Words.

I love nice words.  Nice names.  I love to insult myself in a nice way. 

I often refer to myself as a people pleaser and a perfectionist. 

However, these words could not be further from the truth that spurs my awful, hideous actions.

The truth is… I am prideful and think I [have the potential to be] awesome: perfectionist.  I love for people to think I’m sugary sweet and super godly: people pleaser. 

I’ve always been this way, too.  I would go to preschool in a white dress and my mom would pick me up in a white dress.  I have vivid memories of screaming crying in my art class because I was somehow unable to draw an overall-wearing teddy bear like I could the day before in my Sunday School class.  My parents sought council to deal with a daughter obsessed with doing everything perfectly. 

Sin is innate.  I am in desperation for Christ.

I am scared of people seeing my numerous flaws…I want people to see me when I’ve got it (whatever it is) together—when Scripture is on my lips and I have the energy to be obnoxiously overly friendly to nearly everyone. 

I am no longer going to refer to myself in these false terms.  I am going to call out my innate ungodliness and renounce my sinful nature. 

Thankfully…[and I mean that in every sense of the word]…the Lord covers sin through His Gospel.  Thankfully I don’t have to have a cute outfit, coffee in hand, and a smile on my face to come into God’s presence.  Thankfully, Jesus made that possible—not me. 

My focus is not on feeling great about myself or is it on other people’s opinion of me, because the things of this earth are miniscule and unimportant. The Father is important.  His Gospel is important.  Why oh why do I focus on me when it is ALL about Him?

“He must become greater; I must become less.”

- John 3:30