It is easy to just let people vacuum over my life. Yes I am involved in my local church, yes I am making good grades, yes I have awesome friends and a wonderful godly man in my life…blah blah blah.
But in reality, I fail constantly at being an effective and equipping small group leader; I am not making straight A’s this semester; my friendships are encouraging and edifying, but we often do a terrible job at loving each other; my relationship with Bradley is certainly blissful and sanctifying, but it is also a cycle of loving, failing to love, repenting, apologizing, and looking to Jesus for complete satisfaction.
In reality, I am chock-full of shortcomings and sin. I can be “sweet” or even sacrificial, but in the depths of my sinful heart, I am prideful, self-centered, and controlling of myself and other people.
There is always something to be redeemed.
I’m doing “well” because the grace of Jesus covers all my crap—anything I do that’s “good” is because He who is good lives in me, not because I have conjured up goodness by myself.
Lint rollers are great inventions. Not only do they get nearly every grimy, nasty hair and piece of whatevers off my dorm room floor, they also show me exactly what has been hiding—as it is contrasted to the white sticky substance.
Discipleship, accountability, coffee—call it what you like. We, as followers of Jesus, need to be sharing our lives and hearts—our WHOLE lives and hearts—with older, godlier people (of the same gender) and believing peers. We are weak and need other people to speak truth into our lives.
I am incredibly grateful for God-fearing girlfriends…
sweet Bradley…
and a wise woman with whom I engage in these conversations.
And we MUST be completely honest. Otherwise we’re just chatting and flaring our personalities.
Real brokenness, conviction, confession, repentance, and healing is FAR sweeter when it is shared and urged by people around me that love me. I need people consistently in my life with whom to share my life—thoughts, actions, passions, and situations—openly and honestly. Those people need to love me enough to not tell me what I want to hear. They need to be obedient in their own walk with Christ, so that they can be honest, discerning, and wise in their assessment of me and my walk with the Lord.
That’s why accountability, or even just raw honesty, is so hard—not only do you realize there’s a lot more sin there than you previously thought, but you also realize your old method wasn’t working like you thought it was. Or you’re already aware that your method isn’t working and you’re simply refusing to walk in complete repentance/struggling obedience—which is a much scarier place to be.
Vacuums are great for giving the illusion that my floor is clean; lint rollers are great for ensuring that my floor is not completely pure.
Bubbly conversations about surface-level struggles diminish the toxicity and presence of sin and suppress the Holy Spirit’s sanctification in my life and others’ lives.
Lint rolling over my life/my heart—raw openness, humility, and awareness of sin—leads me to a deeper love for and obedience to the God of the Gospel. When my eyes are opened to my wickedness, which is always more depraved than I think it is, it is easier to see how insanely gracious Jesus was to come and die for my depravity.
And I remember His resurrection and victorious cry: “It is finished.”
I can share my sin and shortcomings because I know how much I am loved by the all-holy God—because He loves me despite my failure. I want to share my sin because I love Him and want to reflect Him instead of myself.
Chip the vacuum. Bring on the lint roller.
Love this Kayla! My oldest daughter is almost 16 and I pray she meditate on God's love for her as much as you do. Tips to a mom as to why you are where you are with your walk at this age?
ReplyDeleteThank you!! I am blessed with parents who instilled in me the importance of being a part of a church body and a Bible study, so when I got to college I found both immediately. I got involved in my church and met other college students as well as wives and mothers. I connected well with one woman (the college pastor's wife and a mother) and we meet every week for discipleship.
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