Yee-haw.

Yesterday was so fun!! It was MUCH prettier outside than it is right now...


Morgan, Haley, 3mma (not a misspelling), Christian (Bradley's roommate), and I all went to a farm that's down the street from M & H's house!  The farm is owned by NC State and it's open to the public once a year.

Driving up to the farm, we immediately saw cows!

Walking up to the farm...we are the only people here who are neither under the age of ten nor parents.

The girls.

We (the girls) LOVED this bright red barn door. Perfect for pictures...Thanks Christian.

First thing I saw when we entered: a turkey. 

Then we headed straight for the baby chicks!

3mma holding it! There's a (sort of) picture of Christian!

It was so tiny!

Probably my favorite picture of the day...just look at that poor chick with its feet in the air. I was dying. 

There was a gorgeous, friendly horse.

And cute little girls trying to reach him.

There were some cows off in the distance...

And this Chick-fil-a cow was staring them down hard.

The pigs were so awkward.

And they're names weren't a joke.

Actually, this might be my favorite picture--because of the ridiculous child leash, of course.

There was a one-month-old goat. Cutest thing ever.

Bradley's favorite animal is a goat, and the baby goat tried to kiss me on the cheek...watch out.

Sweet Morg & me.

NC State produces their own Howling Cow ice cream. They were handing it out for FREE.

Silliness in the back seat.

Sad to leave :( ...and we can thank the disgusting pollen everywhere for the dirty windshield and funny-looking picture.

After the farm, I went to lunch with a friend--a three-hour lunch. Those are the best. 

This is what I found on my desk when I returned:

I have the sweetest friends.

The twins and I went to Whole Foods for dinner, yay!

I always get way too much food. This is what I took home:

Trust Issues.

“I have trust issues…”

How often have girls said or heard this phrase?  What does this reveal about the heart of the person who stated it?

I think it’s a cover-up; a wall.  Girls use it all the time to create spiritual and/or emotional distance.

Essentially, we don’t want people to know us.  We know us, and we know it’s not pretty.  It’s much easier and more enjoyable for people to think we aren’t struggling; we don’t doubt; we don’t really sin.

Before I continue, I am not just talking about girls not wanting to scream, “I LOVE YOU!” to their first boyfriend a week after dating–that’s called common sense.  I’m talking about girls, specifically, who only want to vacuum and never lint roll.

They run at the sound of any question about their relationship with their boyfriend–especially any question about the physicality of their relationship. What is behind this defense-mechanism is shame.

Of course they know that they are in sin, so they’re ashamed–but they don’t see Jesus as the ultimate rescuer, and so they refuse to let anyone in who might help them come to the throne empty-handed yet totally righteous.

And how do I know about all these defense-mechanisms?  Because I used them too.  Although I’ve never used the exact term “trust issues”, I have absolutely been guilty of making excuses for withholding truth about my relationships, my struggles, my doubts, and my heart–and it was stifling to my walk with Jesus and to my sanctification.  In fact, becuase I was consistently unopened, it made crawling out of my habitual sin much more difficult.

By the grace of God alone, that period of time in my life did not last long–but it was certainly painful (so much so, that it nearly brings me to tears every time I think about how much I distanced myself from Jesus…not that tearing up is an uncommon thing for me). And I am so thankful that my sin was brought to light, addressed, and redeemed.

“…do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by Him.  For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom He receives.’  It is for discipline that you have to endure.  God is treating you as sons.  For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?”

{Hebrews 12:5-7}

I know several girls who deal with “trust issues” in conjunction with seeing their fathers as lacking.  Absence, rejection, and sin of fathers often correlates with girls who cling to their boyfriends (and hurry to find another one after a break-up), and ferociously push away any accountability or honesty from other women/girls.

As we all know, correlation does not equal causality. And as Jesus tells us, sin done to us does not equal the right to sin–just look at the Cross for that one.  Was/Is Jesus sinned against?  Constantly by every person who ever lived, is living, and will live.  Did he sin?  Not at all.  Did he even go so far as to pay the price for all that wickedness?  It was His joy.

“Jesus…who for the joy that was set before Him endured the Cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

{Hebrews 12:2}

So let me be clear:  No girl has an excuse to desire a boyfriend/husband more than Jesus; no girl has the right to blame their father for their “trust issues”.

However…

Thank you, Daddy, for staying in our home, for never rejecting me, for being absolutely sinful and humbly  repentant (and forgiving).  You always used to tell me that you loved me but loved Mommie the most.  My pride was always a little crushed and I honestly was confused by it–but now (I think) I understand.

You show me how my husband is supposed to think about me.  You show me how my husband is supposed to love his children.  You show me how my husband is supposed to labor arduously for our family (parents, in-laws, nieces, nephews, siblings, wife, and children).  You show me how to seek Jesus after death has, very literally, stared you in the face.

I am grateful to witness your sin, experience your love and sacrifice, and be a product of your marriage.  Thank you for not giving me a reason to withhold my heart from honest accountability.  Thank you for not giving me “trust issues” with which to struggle.

You give me reasons to look to Jesus for complete satisfaction, and I wouldn’t trade you for the world.  I am so glad God gave me to you.

Take Note: Tim Keller

My pastor often refers to Dr. Keller as “Yoda”. I wouldn’t disagree.

Tim’s points:

- All religions cannot be equally right–Christianity is either false and irrelvant or true.

- All religions cannot be equally wrong–there is a single truth.  Stating that no religion has all the “parts” of “truth” is a claim of truth in and of itself.

“A fact isn’t narrow…it’s a fact that you’re going to wither and die if you don’t eat.  It’s not narrow, it’s just a fact.  And if Jesus Christ is the Son of God, your soul will shrivel without Him, and you’ll die.  And that’s not narrow, it’s just a fact.”

“What you really need in this world is people who’ve got an exclusive truth that humbles them.”

Yoda, I tell ya.

Sweet Surprises :)

Happy Chocolate Covered Raisins Day (yesterday)!

Here ya go, Mommie!

I mailed these items to my mom a few days ago in hopes that she would receive her chocolate covered raisins in time to celebrate this momumental holiday!

She did : ) And she sent me this picture:

Is she not the cutest?!

That woman loves chocolate covered raisins. I love that woman.

Dorm Life.

Living in a dorm, as we all know, has its drawbacks, but it really can be a wonderful place to temporarily reside.  Case in point: NC State University.

Sitting on trash cans with the twins…

this re-enactment is WAY cuter than the original.

Discovering sweet, surprising notes from precious suitemates : )

After M borrowed my hair dryer

Discovering sweet, surprising notes from precious Bradley : )

And oatmeal, no less…he’s good.

Eating Oatmeal.

Heaven on earth.

Eating Junior Mints from my Educational Psychology professor for perfect attendance.

Oh happy day.

…I promise I do more than eat.

Being reminded…

I made this for Bradley for Christmas!

Returning to school after Christmas break to find Lean Pockets literally frozen over…

Oh, Laura.

Playing Mario Cart in Bradley and Christian’s room.

Reading good books.

Figuring out how to use cheap vacuums (speaking of cheap vacuums…)

Studying/struggling to apply Jesus’ Word.

Finishing journals.

Discovering just how disgusting the water is…

Lord knows what those black things are…PTL for my Brita.

Losing toenails…

Still looking for that thing, Laura.

Making/receiving Valentines!

all 36!

When did conversation hearts become so hip, self-centered, and aggressive?

Early morning runs.

emphasis on the "run"--not on the "early".

Intense studying.

except when the font on our self-made study guides is too small to read...

Not pictured:  So. Much. Laughter. It’s great. Small group meetings (by far my favorite thing about my dorm room), March Madness, movie nights, letting my artistic suitemates do whatever they want with my hair (& loving it), actually studying, dancing (& lots of it), delirium, sleepovers, light-hearted conversations, deep discussions, agreements and disagreements, encouragement, tears, hurt, forgiveness and grace.

Grateful for the place God has me. He is in all and through all—I pray I continually let Him into all corners.

I am excited about NOT living in a dorm next year, however, to live with these three wonderfully fun, humbly gifted, absolutely beautiful girls who love Jesus:

taken yesterday : )