You're Beautiful.

On Tuesday night, Bradley and I went to his family’s church’s college ministry gathering, Overflow.  Sometimes I find (slash pridefully scrutinize) that some churches’ worship and preaching contain musical and communicative prowess, but lack theological depth–aka, they could be singing or talking about Joe-shmo because they don’t mention Jesus/the Cross. Tuesday night, the Overflow ministry preached the Gospel of Christ in word and worship.  Bradley and I were blessedand humbled by it.

Nathan, Brad’s best friend, has an older brother, Micah, who leads worship at Overflow and is the lead singer of his band, Rio Bravo. The last song Micah led that night was Phil Wickham’s, “You’re Beautiful”.  It was incredibly worshipful.

Phil Wickham is one of the few Christian artists I have enjoyed over the years. I remember hearing his song, “Cannons” on our local Christian radio station, “K-Love” (who I originally thought was named “Kayla”–self-absorbed from the start). I went home, looked up the lyrics, and have been listening to his music since.

I have a sentiment attached to the song below.  When I was in Kenya this summer, I realized I had been running from the Lord with my previous relationship with Bradley and that I needed to be obedient with the knowledge I possessed at the time, and end our then 2 1/2 year relationship.  It was obviously an emotional time where I was not unsure, but was very emotionally weak.

Our group went on a safari for a nice break during our two-week mission in which we got to camp in a Kenyan national park! During our safari drive, I sat next to one of the girls I grew close to, Jenny.  She held me, stroked my hair, and spoke biblical assurances to me.  She was acting so much like Jesus to me in that moment.  I am so grateful for her.

We were listening to her iPod for a while, and this song began to play…as the tears started to roll.

I see Your face in every sunrise

The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes

The world awakens in the light of the day

I look up to the sky and say

You’re beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night

Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright

We are amazed in the light of the stars

It’s all proclaiming who You are

You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

I see You there hanging on a tree

You bled and then You died and then You rose again for me

Now You are sitting on Your heavenly throne

Soon we will be coming home

You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful

When we arrive at eternity’s shore

Where death is just a memory and tears are no more

We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring

Your bride will come together and we’ll sing

You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

I see Your face, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

I see Your face, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

I see Your face, I see Your face

I see Your face, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

Hattie Jo & Norah

I get to spend my Sunday evenings with, hands down, the cutest 2-year-old little girls on the planet.

These girls love [my] purses, scarves, and sunglasses, they will laugh forever, & they love their mommies. We have a lot in common :)

Hattie Jo and Norah are the daughters of two of the families that are moving to Greensboro, NC to plant Mercy Hill Church.

Mercy Hill has a team of singles, couples, and families who have tasted and seen the necessity and sufficiency of Jesus’ work in their own lives, and desire it for other people. So in response to this Gospel and by the Spirit’s leading, the Mercy Hill team will be moving to Greensboro this spring. Yay/Boo.

Bradley and I have been blessed by Jeremy and Julianne Dager.

Jeremy disciples Bradley, Bradley and I get free wisdom and meals, and I get to enjoy their precious little girl. This is not a give-and-take relationship.

Andrew Hopper will be the lead pastor at Mercy Hill, and will be serving alongside his wife Anna and their two little ones, Hattie Jo and AP (he hangs out with Mommy on Sunday nights…two 2-year-olds can be plenty).

I can’t believe I get paid money to hang out with these two sets of chubby cheeks every week.

These girls are smart, apologetic, tender-hearted, and are by far the best huggers I’ve ever seen. My prayer for them is that the Lord would be faithful to them through their parents and church to preach the sufficiency of Jesus and the work He has prepared for us–that it would seep into the deepest corners of their hearts and lives. Pray with me for the Mercy Hill team–that they are in awe of and a part of the spread of the Gospel among the city of Greensboro, and their worship and adoration of our Risen King would be multiplied.

Happy Leap Day!

This is the year 2012, and it is February 29th! This is exciting for multiple reasons.

I only have 2 classes today.

Small group is tonight! SO EXCITED.

Spring Break is in 3 days! …midterms tomorrow and Friday.

I feel like I have an extra day to catch up (yes, I know the week goes on as usual, just making this year 366 days).

But I do have an extra day to catch up, PTL! My sociology midterm is online (aka, it’s going to kick my butt), but I discovered last night that it isn’t due until this weekend!

I have a paper due this afternoon (completed!) and a midterm in my Intro to Elementary Ed class on Thursday, so this is a huge relief. I feel as if I’ve been given an extra day to live by it being Feb. 29th, but also by realizing I have an extra day to study for a midterm!

Thank You Lord for the small blessings–for more time to glorify You and not me. Show me how to use it well.

As I fret over and celebrate time, You hold time in Your hand.

40 Days of Prayer

This is the packet I received last night when I attended my church‘s Night of Prayer.  Members are to utilize this packet as a guide to set aside time everyday to pray (with 2 days of fasting).  The idea is to foster collective prayer and enhanced unity in fellowship via increased adoration for Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection–all for the sake of His renown.

Yesterday, being Monday, was a bit crazy (and rainy), and having to embarrassingly leave a class early, praying my car wouldn’t be towed where I parked it, and driving in the rain on the way there with my gas light on while on the phone with an upset girlfriend–I was not in the mood to pray.  I can be really mature at times…

Worshipping and praying with close friends is incredible.  While I sat with a lot of fellow college students, I was able to pray with my best friend and co-small group leader, Bailey, her awesome boyfriend Justin, and the man who is courting me, Bradley.  Such power in those relationships; so many relationships for which to pray; so many people in our lives who have yet to be raised to life in Jesus.  Come, Lord.

The Gospel manifested between believers is literally Heaven on earth. Move us, Spirit.

Our pastor read a passage toward the beginning of the night, Psalm 126:

“When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dream. Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, ‘The Lord has done great things for them.’ The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad. Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negeb! Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.”

We rejoice for our own salvation and weap for those who are still lost. But those who labor for Christ’s fame with a broken heart for sin will not return empty-handed.  May I recall the depth of which Jesus pulled me out, so that I will ask and expect Him to do the same for other people.  Use me; send me.  You took my place–You will be glorified for eternity.

Snail Mail.

I love Valentine’s Day. I love that our culture sets aside a day to celebrate and acknowledge those we love.

I love also love snail mail.  Despite the kind of day I’ve had, getting a letter in the mail, just for me, is the sweetest thing.  So my love for stamps, envelopes and pretty pens, coupled with my love for lots of people, always produces Valentine’s Day cards!  36 this year, in fact.

Since I always send many, it is essential that I keep them simple.  PTL for Pinterest. 

This was my inspiration:

So I collected my materials from Target, of course:

I picked out cute Valentine-themed googly eyes (LOVE that they were different shapes!) : 

And some cute heart stickers (which I didn't realize were stickers until half-way through the assembling process) : 

I re-created the "eye love you" Valentines from my pin:

And added scripture to the inside of the cards:

Target was OUT of standard envelopes--they only had security!  Thankfully I had forgotten about some cute colorful envelopes I had tucked away.  Crisis averted.  

Address writing takes forever.

The finished 36!

On this day, however, I can’t help but be reminded of the original Lover.  He didn’t bring me a dozen roses, or chocolates, or even a lovely candle-lit dinner.   He asked for my love on the Cross.  And He proved that He will always be faithful and powerful by resurrecting Himself.  For me.  Kind of mind-blowing.  I will only find that kind of love in Him. 

Have I Gotten Over It?

Hank Murphy, a worship pastor at my church, The Summit, opened a night of worship and fellowship for college students a month ago, professing that we are fallen and in need of a Savior, and that Jesus’ sacrificial work is our only hope for a redeeming relationship with the Father.  He then said, “I don’t know about you, but we’ve never really gotten over that.”  

Have I gotten over that?  Have I “moved on” from the sweetness that I deserve death and I am given life?  Have I "matured" enough to move past the fact that in response to this abundant justice and grace that I have received, that I should do everything I can to spread it? 

Praise Jesus that in His obedience to the Father assures us once and for all that the justice of God does not reign over me because it is satisfied in Jesus’ atoning death.  And He proved this by the Resurrection.  We do not live for now—we live in light of eternity. 

The pastor at my church, J.D. Greear, preached on 1 Peter 4:1-11 tonight, and in light of the commands in the passage, encouraged us to live as though we were looking back on our lives in 100 years.  What would you wish you had done to leverage your life, your relationships, your family, and your work, all for the fame of the work of Jesus on and after the Cross?  Would you wish you would have spent your extra money on something eternal?  Would you wish you would have explained the Gospel to that one person that you were too scared to talk to about Jesus?  Would you wish you would have done everything you could to make sure that your family knew the risen King?  Would you wish you would have loved Christ enough to love people enough to profess the Truth?

For what do we live?  For what do I live?  Do people wonder how though I suffer I bless the name of Christ?  Do people wonder why I won’t shut up about Jesus?  Are people attracted to the hope and peace that I have—that surpasses ALL understanding?  Do people see how humble my heart is at the sight of my unworthiness before the Lord, though He loves me?  Do people know that my faith in myself is stripped?  Are people repulsed at the fact that I do not indulge in worldly, fleshly things?  Do I constantly confess my sin to others—believers and unbelievers?  Do I constantly profess that JESUS is my hope and full abundant joy, and NEVER my circumstance?  Do I suffer for the name of Christ my Lord?

More importantly, do people see that I aim to do these things, that they would see my life and turn to and glorify the King of Kings, the great and glorious God, the One who lived the life I could not live and died the death that I deserved—Jesus?

“How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed?  And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have not heard?  And how are they to hear without someone preaching?  And how are they to preach unless they are sent?”

- Romans 10:14-15

May our churches, may our families, may our friendships, may our courtships, may our marriages, may our hearts be obsessed with the fact that we deserve death and are given eternal life because of the Cross.

Our lives show what we believe to be true.  Our decisions about in what to invest our time, our money, and our relationships reveal what we believe to be important.  Do I believe that I am important?  Do I believe that my success, that my reputation, that my comfort, that my happiness is important?  Or do I believe that the only thing that matters in this life is that I reach as many people as possible, in God’s time and by His power, to profess the Truth and imminent love of the risen Lord?  

May we be obsessed with Jesus.  May we never get over the reality of the Gospel. 

Why I Am Thankful for Disagreement.

I believe the Bible is inerrant.  I believe that the Bible is inspired by God and to question it is to question God.  May I never be so arrogant to do either of those things.  I also believe that there is one perfect interpretation of the Bible, so since humans are vastly imperfect, no human possesses a perfect mind to fully understand the Word of God. 

However, God is not confusing.  We may be confused by Him and He may be mysterious to us…but when I don’t understand something it is not because God hasn’t figured it out, it is that I need Him to reveal the full Truth to me.

“I have manifested Your name to the people whom You gave me out of the world.  Yours they were, and You gave them to Me, and they have kept Your Word.  Now they know that everything that You have given Me is from You.  For I have given them the words that You gave Me, and they have received them and have come to know them in Truth, that I came from You, and they believed that You sent me.”

            - John 17:6-8

With that said, there are about a gazillion and one interpretations of the Bible.  It’s the most popular book in the history of the world after all; people have pretty strong opinions on it.  And I am one of those people.

I tend to be quite stubborn and strong-willed—I get that from both ends of my parental spectrum. :)  But I was also blessed with an intense desire for knowledge (about the Lord, not about an engineering course entitled Graphics Communication at NC State University…not to name names).  So I love to read theology, philosophy, blogs, articles, watch videos, and mull over (slash pick apart) sermon transcripts—although I feel like I'm just barely scratching the surface and have MUCH to learn.  I also love to talk (Jesus created me as a woman, PTL.  I would be no good as a man, I think).  This is both fortunate and unfortunate.  Mostly fortunate for me as I am better able to think through ideas verbally, and often unfortunately for people like Bradley (although his gracious nature would never admit that; I am richly blessed) to whom I love to ramble.  Yes, ramble.    

Praise Jesus that we aren’t able to fully understand His Word.  If we were, would we need Him?  If we fully understood how to “do” Christianity, say relationships—courtship, friendship, and familial relationships—perfectly, if there was a formula, our faith in the Lord would be useless. 

So I think in my relationships with people who share my beliefs about on what God the Father, Son, and Spirit are focused, I grow.  And I think in my relationships with people who think differently than me, I am challenged.  Certainly not that growth doesn’t happen in disagreements nor that challenge is absent from people who beliefs are parallel, or that growth and challenge are not often adjacent.  But God created community and I need it.  I need all parts of it. 

What I am about to type is something at which I am so incredibly awful. 

I think it is important to be frustrated less about those with whom you disagree (and those disagreements may be monumental and life-changing and really really BIG and annoying even), and it is more significant to be frustrated when I do not welcome disagreements as a chance to show another person the grace and love that has been lavished on me through Jesus (I apologize for the run-on to which I am adding now). 

The point:

            Concentrate less on the disagreement itself and more on the heart of the disagreeer.  Ask yourself what is the purpose of your discussion?  What eternally relevant thing are you trying to accomplish?  Why did you open your mouth?  All too often I open my mouth and quickly wish I had just kept it closed.  Not that I often say things that are untrue or ungodly or not pertinent to my beliefs about what the Word reveals, but I frequently make statements to impress someone (not at all eternally significant), to make myself feel good (self-glorifying), or to be right (which is laughable because I am so UNRIGHTeous).  None of these motivations are Christ-like.  They are Kayla-like.  And the older I get, the more I realize how UNKayla-like I want to be and how much more I should aim to grow godly love in me. 

“He was oppressed, and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not His mouth.”

            - Isaiah 53:7

I want to be that selfless; that sacrificial; that loving. 


Praise the Lord that this world is fallen.  It so contrasts with Him.